[sometimes we litter]
we were on our way to independence to visit costco and get some birthday party supplies. it was rush hour traffic time. daylight savings time was over and at 5:30 it was already pitch black. ryan was having a difficult time following directions and became...shall we say..."'physically active" in the backseat of the truck. of course, this meant we needed to pull over and wait for him to be safe. after getting himself together i waited and waited for some kind soul to let us back onto the highway. i'm sure people were annoyed about letting me in and probably didn't want to. but sometimes we pull over during rush hour.
we got to costco with our unhappy customer in tow. he was hellbent on getting into that over-sized cart and "going to sleep". he informed me to "leave him alone" and proceeded to--butt in the air--roll over and "go to sleep." we got all kinds of looks which were, probably somewhat, well deserved. as i pushed around the giant cart, with a monster sized kid sticking his butt up in the air. it didn't help that he had a swollen lip from an earlier dentist visit. i could feel people looking at ryan and then to me. i could sense their confusion. i could practically hear their judgement. but sometimes we ride in giant shopping carts with our butt in the air.
after the long battle at the store complete with a now bleeding, swollen lip, some mean words towards mom and dad and a checkout clerk who was less than subtle with her "confusion" about my child's behavior, we ventured over to the cafe nearby for a respite of soup and sandwich. it was cool. it was dark. we were hungry, and--most importantly we were tired. after making our way to the counter and then waiting for our food we finally got settled. buddy couldn't eat because of his sore lip, so instead he regaled the dining room with scenes from an interpretive dance recital. we just couldn't hear the music. kelly and i shoved food in our mouth quickly so we could get the heck out of there and get back to home base. sometimes--when the kiddo is really on a roll--you want to be any place else besides in public. the whole time kelly and i ate, ry was gnawing on slobbery, wet, mangled paper towels. trying to sooth his poor lip. it was not a pretty sight.
as we dumped our trash we hit the door to go to the truck. an elderly man approached as we exited. ryan took two steps out the door, drew a big breath, and spit a giant wad of bloody paper towel right at the feet of the man entering. he looked at me and shook his head before mumbling something under is breath and entering. all i could think was "at least it was outside". i felt judged and embarrassed. i wanted to run back in and tell that old guy exactly what he just saw. i wanted to tell him how i was frustrated, too. and that i was doing everything i knew to do. and that there are really good reasons for why my child behaved like he did. and that we were good people. and that we do have high expectations. and that our home teaches respect.
but i didn't. i just took ryan by the hand and helped him get to the truck. because sometimes we litter. most of the time we don't, but sometimes we do. i am so thankful for the struggles of being a dad. i know that my wife and i have been blessed with a burden that was made for us. i am remindeddaily hourly that life isn't perfect. ryan forces us to live with it. it's a burden that not everyone gets to really experience. how lucky we are.
[he]
we got to costco with our unhappy customer in tow. he was hellbent on getting into that over-sized cart and "going to sleep". he informed me to "leave him alone" and proceeded to--butt in the air--roll over and "go to sleep." we got all kinds of looks which were, probably somewhat, well deserved. as i pushed around the giant cart, with a monster sized kid sticking his butt up in the air. it didn't help that he had a swollen lip from an earlier dentist visit. i could feel people looking at ryan and then to me. i could sense their confusion. i could practically hear their judgement. but sometimes we ride in giant shopping carts with our butt in the air.
after the long battle at the store complete with a now bleeding, swollen lip, some mean words towards mom and dad and a checkout clerk who was less than subtle with her "confusion" about my child's behavior, we ventured over to the cafe nearby for a respite of soup and sandwich. it was cool. it was dark. we were hungry, and--most importantly we were tired. after making our way to the counter and then waiting for our food we finally got settled. buddy couldn't eat because of his sore lip, so instead he regaled the dining room with scenes from an interpretive dance recital. we just couldn't hear the music. kelly and i shoved food in our mouth quickly so we could get the heck out of there and get back to home base. sometimes--when the kiddo is really on a roll--you want to be any place else besides in public. the whole time kelly and i ate, ry was gnawing on slobbery, wet, mangled paper towels. trying to sooth his poor lip. it was not a pretty sight.
as we dumped our trash we hit the door to go to the truck. an elderly man approached as we exited. ryan took two steps out the door, drew a big breath, and spit a giant wad of bloody paper towel right at the feet of the man entering. he looked at me and shook his head before mumbling something under is breath and entering. all i could think was "at least it was outside". i felt judged and embarrassed. i wanted to run back in and tell that old guy exactly what he just saw. i wanted to tell him how i was frustrated, too. and that i was doing everything i knew to do. and that there are really good reasons for why my child behaved like he did. and that we were good people. and that we do have high expectations. and that our home teaches respect.
but i didn't. i just took ryan by the hand and helped him get to the truck. because sometimes we litter. most of the time we don't, but sometimes we do. i am so thankful for the struggles of being a dad. i know that my wife and i have been blessed with a burden that was made for us. i am reminded
[he]
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